Divorce is a process that should not be viewed as an event that is single in nature. This is because it affects the lives of the people who are in a family, which has been affected. Most times, if there are children in a marriage, they are the ones who are affected when divorce occurs. Many processes and factors are involved in divorce and their impacts have a lasting effect on the family. After, and the beginning, of the process of divorce is an aspect that needs to be known, and also its outcomes. Divorce is considered a traumatic experience and the effects are negative. Interactions, which exist, tend to be strenuous as well as negative to the family. Various perspectives exist concerning divorce, such as Islamic, Christian, Children’s and the Spouse’s. They all provide vital information regarding divorce as well as its negative impacts on the family (Crowder & Teachman, 2004).
According to research family stability is affected by divorce and children are worst hit. Children are in families with divorced parents, were at a lesser advantage as compared to those who were in stable families. The children in divorced families were likely to have troubled relationships with their families, problems in school, and not associating well with peers. Also, the children did not have self-concepts of their lives. The impact of divorce on the children is further affected by their ages. For example, the impact of divorce on a seven-year-old child is different from that of a teenager who is seventeen years old (Amato, 2000).
From a Christian perspective, it is evident that more people, even those who wed in a church are frequently divorcing. According to the Christian Bible, marriage is meant to be a covenant between God and two people. As a result of modernization, people place little importance on the latter, and instead view marriage as a social contract. The vow whereby, only death is meant to be an end to a marriage is not being fulfilled. Instead, couples are only in marriage, until they no longer love each other, and thus the reason for divorce. Divorce is not allowed as it affects the relations between children and their parents. Divorce is also blamed for causing a lot of pain to those who are involved.
According to the Islamic perspective, divorce is allowed, and it even offers solutions on how children will be taken care off. After divorce, the woman is meant to ensure that the children are catered for. The father is meant to provide upkeep for the children and the wife. He is also awarded with rights whereby, he has permission to visit his children. The negative impact of divorce, especially on the children is drastically reduced. The effect of the divorce process is lessened as everything is planned for, and this is before finalization of the divorce.
Lastly, the spouse’s perspective offers valuable information regarding how they are affected by divorce. Research shows that when divorced women are compared to divorced men, the latter are worst affected. This is because they suffer more in many ways, such as emotionally and are harshly judged by society. They often find it difficult to remarry due to the stereotype, which exists about them. Sometimes, even their relatives such as siblings and parents; distance themselves (Kelly & Emery, 2003). On the other hand, men find it easy to continue with life after divorce. For example, remarrying is easy for them and society seems to favor them. They are not judged in the same way that women are. In terms of relationship with their children, women have stable relationships with their children. Men find it difficult to have relationships with their children as they distance themselves or remarry.
According to me, I support the children’s perspective whereby, they are affected by divorce. They are the ones most affected and the impact can traumatize them, even when they are adults. As research has found out, in the future when they are grown ups, they will not have stable marriages. Also, they are likely to become divorced just like their parents and even possess emotional problems. Others are known to suffer in marriages, which are physically abusive, and will blame this on their parents (Stevenson & Wolfers, 2007). This means that before parents decide to divorce, they should make sure that their children are well informed and are able to handle it well. For example, they can take their children to counselors and even make them know that they will still be available.
In conclusion, divorce has a negative impact on the family, and especially on the children. The different perspectives on divorce confirm that the impact is felt by every family member. Solutions should be found to reduce rates of divorce and suitable methods of assisting families to deal with divorce found.
Amato, P. R. (2000). “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 62:1269–1287
Crowder, K., & Teachman, J. (2004). Do residential conditions explain the relationship between living arrangements and adolescent behavior? Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, 721-738
Kelly, J. B. & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children’s adjustment following divorce: Risk and resiliency perspectives. Family Relations, 52, 352-362.
Stevenson, Betsey, & Wolfers. Justin, (2007). “Marriage and Divorce: Changes and their Driving Forces.” Journal of Economic Perspectives, 21,2, 27–52.
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